Ups and Downs

This October seemed to be the longest month ever in my life. I'll write about it later. But first, let me post some highlights of the month, which are always uplifting and I'm so thankful for these bright spots in the middle of the otherwise stressful time.

These are the Orange Day pictures from school. I volunteered to help with the craft center at Emily's class. It was a fun afternoon.

 

 

 

 

The week before Halloween, one of our neighbors dropped off a basket of goodies for the kids. Emily and Andy were so excited to receive the gift. They decided to do the same to two other neighbors that just moved in.

We set up a trunk at our church's Trunk or Treat event. Emily and Andy dressed up as Jack and Jill for the last time before we all said bye-bye to these costumes. They took a picture with Mr. Jim (they recognized Jim right away even when he dressed up as a clown).

 

Our FriendSpeak readers enjoyed the games too. It was their first time to try the root beer float.

Dad and Linda came down for Halloween. We did Trick or Treat in Amy's neighborhood. Everyone had fun!

These turkeys were raised by a friend in the co-op group. They gobbled non-stop when I was there. So I know they are male turkeys. Aren't they beautiful?

 

We had lots of organic sweet potatos from the co-op this time of the year. We tried to sprout the sweet potatos from the stores before but they never sprouted. So I decided to try these organic ones. I was glad to see the sprouts in a few days! Hopefully I can keep the vines until next year to plant them in the garden. We'll see.

We got several pumpkins this year. The kids carved one out with Daddy. I cooked one to make the pumpkin puree. We toasted lots of the pumpkin seeds to snack on. They are addictive!

We had the first teacher's conference with Emily's teachers. Mrs. Jackson and Mrs. Delaughter kept bragging on Emily. They said most kids get 1s or 2s for the first quarter assessment. Emily got all 2s and 3s （3 is the highest rating). She always does her best work and goes beyond. She got along with everyone in her class. They can put her in any group of kids. Her teachers said they had to think hard to come up with the things for her to work on. So they put "Speaking up more in class" down in the areas to improve on. We are so proud of our little girl! We pray she will continue doing her best work and being a light for Jesus at school!

 

 

Emily's birthday is in November. When I told her to think about who she wanted to invite to her birthday lunch, she started to write her own invitation letter at the table. Here is her first invitation letter written all by herself in five minutes (translated):"Mary Ellen, do you want to come to my birthday? Gayla, do you want to come to my birthday? Emily Momey Daddy Andy"

David took the kids to the air show at the McKinney airport. Andy loved it!

 

This Mexican Chocolate bread became our favorite bread. We can finish off a 2 lb loaf in one dinner! We got to make it every week. Yummy! 

The pictures above captured the ups of my life in the past month. All the down times were buried in my mind. It hurts just to re-visit the stressful time. But I want to write it down so I'll learn from it.

Starting from early September, I started waking up in the middle of the night itchy all over, especially my back, neck, shoulder, sides and the waist band area. I would scratch myself to bleeding and couldn't go back to sleep. It only happened at around 2 o'clock every night and when I sat in front of the computer (then I had some crawl sensation). After I scratched, hives would break out in those areas. A couple of hours later, before I got up, they all disappeared. David mentioned it was possible bed bugs. So I started reading about bed bugs. Every symptoms I read on the Internet matched my experience. The more I read, the more I was convinced that we were having bed bugs. One day David and I set out to find the evidence. We found some skin casts (three in a cluster) in the bracket of the bed frame and saved them for later identifications. They looked like the bed bug skin images I saw on the website. So I declared war against the bed bugs. I read every web site about the bed bugs; I bought the encasements for the mattresses, box springs, the traps, DE powers (that I sprinkled everywhere in our bedrooms)... I washed the clothes and beddings three or four times a day and dry them in the hottest setting for over an hour; I put all the clean clothes and beddings in the sealed bags; I threw aways the rugs and chairs and beddings that were difficult to clean daily (I sadly threw away the Jack and Jill costumes too). I tried not to go to other places in case there was a bug on me; my sky was gray day in and day out; I asked God to deliver me out of this and help me to win this war ... Despite of my every effort, I was still itchy intensely every night. I felt hopeless. I lost sleep almost every night. I recited Psalms 4:8 "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety" and then I was afraid to go to bed knowing that "the bugs would bite me". I worried the bugs would find the kids' beds and take over the whole house. Our house was not our home any more. The bugs took up all my mind, all my energy, and all my time. Finally I broke down. I needed help! I needed to talk to someone! So I called Robert and Gail and cried over the phone. They said the most powerful prayers for me over the phone and through emails. I felt so much better after talking to them. We hired four exterminators. Two said we had bed bugs based on the skin casts and my experience (the treatment for bed bugs would cost $2500-$3300). Two said we didn't have bed bugs because there were not enough evidence. If it's not bed bugs, what could it be? I continued my internet reading. David begged me to stop reading. He said that's the Enemy who tried to distract me from focusing on God. I didn't listen. My mind couldn't think about anything but bugs. I was dragged down so deeply and became so depressed. Lacking of visual evidence made me think of bird mites. They are too little to see but have the similar features as bed bugs. As I read more about bird mites, I was even more stressed. I prayed that I have bed bugs instead of bird mites because they are so much more difficult to deal with. I thought about the bird feeder hanging down our roof outside of our bedroom; I thought about the bird nest that fell down from the tree in the front yard ... I bought more DIY stuff for the bird mites and the special detergent to kill the bird mites. Finally, David suggested staying at the hotels for three nights. I was still itchy even at the hotels. At this point, David thought it wasn't bugs that made me itchy. I hired two more people to diagnose our problems. One guy came in the morning. He looked at everything and listened to me and said it was not bugs. He offered prayers for us before he left. The other guy came in the afternoon. He dismissed my assumption about the bird mites and said we didn't have bugs. I was finally convinced that we didn't have bugs!

I was so relieved!!! Thank you Lord for delivering me from my "bug problem" (and it was so real to me)! I started seeing the dermotologist and the doctor. Although I am still itchy on and off, it's a lot better. Most of all, the mental stress was gone! I'm so grateful for my "normal" life now. Our house is back to be our home. God doesn't waste any problem. Through this incidence, I realized how weak my relationship with God is. I've been focus on the physical health of our family for so long and neglected my spiritual health. I haven't spent time with God as much as I wanted/should. So this is a "Ding!" from Him to get my attention. This is His calm voice "recalculating" when I gets off the path from His GPS.

When I fought with the bugs mentally, I knew all along that I had to rely on God. I prayed for His power. I wanted to focus my eyes on Jesus, instead of the bug problems ... but I couldn't. Actually my eyes were on the (imagined) bug problem all the time and it was so big that I was dragged into despair and fear! I became Peter who fell in the water once he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the storm. I was in a taste of mental suffering from this fallen world. The times when God saved me from my troubles seemed to be far (funny how people's memory works). David was right that it was the Enemy's plan to set my mind on the problems instead of on God. My stress affected the kids too. The kids were late for school one morning. Andy was a little clingy (he never was like that before) after we stayed at the hotel for three nights during the week.

I'm so thankful for God's protection over the years when we had plenty opportunities to encounter the bug problems. For some people, you may think it is not be a big deal to deal with the bug problems. But the stress that a bug brings can only be understood by someone who had it. I was never stressed or anxious over anything before, even when I lost my first job or lived among the construction workers by myself (after the company filed bankcrupcy). I really feel for many who are suffering from the real bug problems. There are lots of things that I used to take for granted and now I'm grateful. A normal peaceful life is among them. God reminded me again that He is my deliverer and He is with me always. May we all learn to fix our eyes on Jesus, even it's hard to!